Stinky
Dog For Sale
Know
anyone who might want to buy a slightly used Yngo Kid?
Dog
for Sale; 2 Peg Teeth/Semi-Obedient/ Neutered/
Great
Disposition but smells like SHI_
Thats
how the Ad was going to read last night when I was ready sell, even
give away the little creep.
We
arrived home a little earlier than usual last night so I thought I
would squeeze in a trip to the Arboretum before Dinner.
Diesel
jumped in the car and off we went. Nothing unusual, just our regular
trail, the one he knows like the back of his paw. He decided to
run ahead through the trees into the open field and run around like a
fool waiting for me to catch up. The Wind was coming from
behind me so I did not know till I arrived and was immediately
slammed, that the field had been fertilized... Yes folks it was full
of SHI_!!!!!!
At
least two inches thick. And thanks to modern agriculture
techniques used at the McGill University next door, it was the new
and improved liquefied kind. For ease of spreading I guess. I believe
its broken down using enzymes. But I digress. Well I did indeed
get slammed, fell down and was almost as coated with the stuff as he
himself was, and I am sure thought he smelled just wonderful.
Now I am covered in SHI_, my Dog is covered in SHI_ and I still have
a 2K walk back to the parking lot where I left my car that I am not
sure how I am going to get into smelling like a Manure Pile.
Meanwhile Mr. Stinky is still trying to go back to the field for more
rolling so I had to put his leash on, which now also smells like SHI_.
This
is not to mention the people I encountered on the way back to the
car, who thought "Oh, how cute, but glad its not
me." Now Im back at the Parking lot and its
getting late, dark and cold and my husband is at home wondering where
I am. Stupid me did not bring my cell-phone. At this point I am
really considering putting Diesel in the trunk, stripping off my own
smelly clothes and driving home wearing just the spare rain
jacket. But what if I get stopped by the police, or worse have
an accident, I would have a hard time explaining all this.
I
backtrack onto another trail where I know there is a pond (a very
dirt pond...but how can it be worse than this??). So we go to
the pond wash off the surface Pooh, but cant wash off the
smell. We go back to the car, I use the spare rain jacket to
dry us off, and we get into the car to go home. All the way home
Diesel is rolling on the backseat trying to dry-off, and at the same
time rubbing the stink into the upholstery.
We
get home finally, and Diesel bolts for the back door and of course
Frank lets him in not knowing he smells like SHI_. Upstairs he
runs, jumps onto out bed to continue the drying off process, while I
try to get out of my smelly clothes, which went directly into the
garbage. Now we have him in the bath which is not really big enough
for him anymore and I am trying to wash him off, but hes not
cooperating. So at this point there are three of us in the
Tub... Diesel, me washing, and Frank holding, but its gone past
seven and Frank has to get going to Football Practice so I am on my own.
I
get him washed, keep him in the bathroom with me while I shower, and
then tackle the cleaning of the bed. Needless to say the duvet
went into the garbage too. It was the same one he killed last
week so it was no great loss, except I was waiting for a sale before
replacing it. I used a whole bottle of shampoo and this morning
he still stinks!!!!!!! The Car Stinks!!!! And we froze last night
without our Duvet. Stinky Dog for sale indeed.
Cheryl
Carruthers & Diesel (Kayla's
Canadian Copyright)
Update
from Cheryl: Please note that Diesel is no longer for
sale. Although I am still peeved because I cannot get the smell
out of my car, or skin. Yuck.
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